Are there any shows that you've watched one episode of and then couldn't watch ever again?
Home of Random Crap with the Shadowbird, the catch-all brand name for What the Fire Flower, Geek Confessions, and other shows.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
No, NO, Power Rangers!
Warning: the following rant is extremely likely to contain vicious language and intensely explicit imagery. So if you decide to read this, it's your own dang fault.
Oh, God...why, why, WHY did I ever let myself get hyped up for Power Rangers Samurai!? Why did I fall for the trap of raised expectations, and worse still, why did I let myself get suckered in by the facade of nostalgia? Why did I ever think Power Rangers Samurai was going to be any good?
Actually, a better question: how will I purge this completely horrific piece of shit from my mind?
For those of you who have no bloody idea what I'm talking about, allow me to elucidate. Tonight was the series premiere of technically the 19th season of Power Rangers, based on Samurai Sentai Shinkenger and back under the seemingly loving care of Saban (after 8 seasons of Disneyfication). Ever since Saban bought Power Rangers back, I'd gone through every stage imaginable regarding the prospects of a new Power Rangers series based on Shinkenger, including phases of uncertainty, dread, resignation, and finally hopeful anticipation. As the series got closer to premiering and more information came out, I liked what I saw. I even got suckered in by nostalgic moves, such as bringing back the beloved character of Bulk from the first 6 seasons. I even marked today's premiere on the calendar, ready to pounce over to Nickelodeon as soon as it came on.
This could have been the biggest mistake of my life.
Anyone who knows me knows how much I love Shinkenger, and I haven't even gotten to do my reviews of it yet. But as much as I loved the characters, storylines, and devices of Shinkenger, I ABHOR...no, that's not strong enough a word. I FUCKING HATE POWER RANGERS SAMURAI WITH THE INTENSITY OF 10 SEPTILLION BLUE SUPERGIANTS. As hilarious and serious as Shinkenger was, this pitiful excuse for a show is beyond terrible. It is the most rancid, liquidous shit I have ever had the misfortune of being forced to ingest.
"But Shadowbird," you may say, "you weren't forced to watch this. You watched it of your own volition!" And you would be correct, except I didn't force myself to watch this show thinking it would suck the soul out of me. I watched it under the expectation that it would be an adaptation not only worthy of the name Power Rangers but worthy of Shinkenger itself. Instead, from the first moments of the show proper, I was screaming at the television, "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!?"
The reason for this is because for a premiere episode, this was not an introductory episode. There was no building the team, no introduction of the villains, no explanation of everything. They jumped straight into about the second or third episode, relative to Shinkenger. And while the intro credits were pretty good, afterward, we go even further down the rabbit hole.
I won't go through the episode in depth, as I didn't think to document this act of first-degree murder, but I will enumerate all the things that either pissed me off or inordinately depressed me.
I've cried more than once just thinking about this show. I've wished there was liquor in the house so I can drown away this nightmarish, demon-spawned crock of shit. Nickelodeon and Saban now owe me 30 minutes of my life, and sadly, I know I will never, ever get it back. And now...a part of my soul has been permanently destroyed. I can no longer enjoy Power Rangers without thinking of this, and my love of Sentai might end up suffering as a result as well. I will never watch another official Power Rangers product again, and I'm debating if I want to include Linkara's History of Power Rangers in that ban out of pure spite for what has become of the once-beloved franchise. I know I'm going to have nightmares, and I doubt I could wash the filth away even if I scrubbed myself into a bloody pulp.
Moving forward, I feel like the last survivor of a horror flick: lucky that I somehow managed to survive, but still permanently scarred in body and in mind. When a show is so terrible that you are seriously pondering trepanation to purge the damaged parts of your brain from your skull, you know something has gone horribly wrong. Saban, Nickelodeon, for the sake of Power Rangers fans the world over...how DARE you treat fans this way! This is a fail of infinitely higher proportion than Masked Rider; this is a fail on the level of 4Kids! You are guilty of the murder of one great show and one once-great franchise. May you forever freeze in the 9th Level of Hell for this treachery.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go chug down an entire bottle of mouthwash...
Oh, God...why, why, WHY did I ever let myself get hyped up for Power Rangers Samurai!? Why did I fall for the trap of raised expectations, and worse still, why did I let myself get suckered in by the facade of nostalgia? Why did I ever think Power Rangers Samurai was going to be any good?
Actually, a better question: how will I purge this completely horrific piece of shit from my mind?
For those of you who have no bloody idea what I'm talking about, allow me to elucidate. Tonight was the series premiere of technically the 19th season of Power Rangers, based on Samurai Sentai Shinkenger and back under the seemingly loving care of Saban (after 8 seasons of Disneyfication). Ever since Saban bought Power Rangers back, I'd gone through every stage imaginable regarding the prospects of a new Power Rangers series based on Shinkenger, including phases of uncertainty, dread, resignation, and finally hopeful anticipation. As the series got closer to premiering and more information came out, I liked what I saw. I even got suckered in by nostalgic moves, such as bringing back the beloved character of Bulk from the first 6 seasons. I even marked today's premiere on the calendar, ready to pounce over to Nickelodeon as soon as it came on.
This could have been the biggest mistake of my life.
Anyone who knows me knows how much I love Shinkenger, and I haven't even gotten to do my reviews of it yet. But as much as I loved the characters, storylines, and devices of Shinkenger, I ABHOR...no, that's not strong enough a word. I FUCKING HATE POWER RANGERS SAMURAI WITH THE INTENSITY OF 10 SEPTILLION BLUE SUPERGIANTS. As hilarious and serious as Shinkenger was, this pitiful excuse for a show is beyond terrible. It is the most rancid, liquidous shit I have ever had the misfortune of being forced to ingest.
"But Shadowbird," you may say, "you weren't forced to watch this. You watched it of your own volition!" And you would be correct, except I didn't force myself to watch this show thinking it would suck the soul out of me. I watched it under the expectation that it would be an adaptation not only worthy of the name Power Rangers but worthy of Shinkenger itself. Instead, from the first moments of the show proper, I was screaming at the television, "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!?"
The reason for this is because for a premiere episode, this was not an introductory episode. There was no building the team, no introduction of the villains, no explanation of everything. They jumped straight into about the second or third episode, relative to Shinkenger. And while the intro credits were pretty good, afterward, we go even further down the rabbit hole.
I won't go through the episode in depth, as I didn't think to document this act of first-degree murder, but I will enumerate all the things that either pissed me off or inordinately depressed me.
- Again, we're thrown into the fire with no explanation why. The team is just...there, training under their master Ji. The personalities are kinda...sorta...almost correct, but not. The "lord" is by far the most off, as he doesn't have the same...regal bearing as his Sentai counterpart Takeru.
- Bulk and Spike. Two things bothered me about this. 1) Why is Bulk there? The scene with him and his "nephew" Spike has no set-up and no pay-off within the episode's story. Secondly, I have a very bad feeling, by his demeanor and clothing, that Spike will end up being the Gold Ranger. Which is an insult to Genta, ShinkenGold. Bulk's appearance was pointless fan-service, playing to the nostalgia of Power Rangers fans like myself.
- The villains. Oh, dear Primus, the villains. Serious, dark, and foreboding in Shinkenger. Silly, light, and annoying in Samurai. Even the wise advisor character now sounds and acts like Finster from Mighty Morphin. And to make matters worse, you know how much of their motivations we know? Not even a strange quark's worth. No explanation. No point. *sliding facepalm*
- The transformation sequences. Where to begin...well, how about I break this one even further down?
- Go Go Samurai. *insert primal scream of infinite rage here* WHAT THE FLYING-ON-ONE-BURNING-ENGINE FUCK KIND OF MORPHING CALL IS THAT!? THIS ISN'T FUCKING INSPECTOR GADGET! IT'S POWER RANGERS! EVEN THE CHEESIEST POWER RANGERS MORPHING CALLS WERE BETTER THAN THIS! PUT SOME FUCKING EFFORT INTO THIS SHIT, FOR FUCKING OUT LOUD! Here, I'll give you a better one for free: "Samurai Spirit, Bushido!"
- Costume sidenote: the transformation sequence has the Rangers donning a ninja-style mask before the helmet comes on. A ninja mask. In a samurai-based show. And I thought Disney not allowing the Ninja Storm Rangers to use shuriken was fail...
- MegaMonsters and "Megamode" for the Zords. Why do you need a new suit design for the Zords; you never had one before in all of Power Rangers, and there wasn't one in Shinkenger! The only good thing here is the redesigned sword controller, which looks cool...but isn't the same as Shinkenger's.
I've cried more than once just thinking about this show. I've wished there was liquor in the house so I can drown away this nightmarish, demon-spawned crock of shit. Nickelodeon and Saban now owe me 30 minutes of my life, and sadly, I know I will never, ever get it back. And now...a part of my soul has been permanently destroyed. I can no longer enjoy Power Rangers without thinking of this, and my love of Sentai might end up suffering as a result as well. I will never watch another official Power Rangers product again, and I'm debating if I want to include Linkara's History of Power Rangers in that ban out of pure spite for what has become of the once-beloved franchise. I know I'm going to have nightmares, and I doubt I could wash the filth away even if I scrubbed myself into a bloody pulp.
Moving forward, I feel like the last survivor of a horror flick: lucky that I somehow managed to survive, but still permanently scarred in body and in mind. When a show is so terrible that you are seriously pondering trepanation to purge the damaged parts of your brain from your skull, you know something has gone horribly wrong. Saban, Nickelodeon, for the sake of Power Rangers fans the world over...how DARE you treat fans this way! This is a fail of infinitely higher proportion than Masked Rider; this is a fail on the level of 4Kids! You are guilty of the murder of one great show and one once-great franchise. May you forever freeze in the 9th Level of Hell for this treachery.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go chug down an entire bottle of mouthwash...
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?
What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Monday, December 27, 2010
Special Update: The Month That Never Was
December has...not been a great month for me. Some of you may already know this, but close to the beginning of the month, the downward slide started with the Breakfast from Hell. While transporting a bowl of cereal, I spilled milk on my laptop. I tried to clean it all up quickly, even employing a vacuum to aid me, but while things looked good for a while, all of the sudden, POOF! Dark Sojourn, my trustly laptop for not even 2 years, was how I like my bread: well toasted. I still have fantasies that one day, I'll go over, hit the power button, and it will gaily spring back to life, but it never does. Suffice it to say, I was thoroughly depressed, especially when I had some big vids planned for this month.
Then a week later, admittedly due to me leaving my Sirius radio on, my battery died. I managed to get my car jumped, but the next day, the battery was dead again. An attempt at jumping it with my cables failed miserably. We thought the battery dead for good until my dear father, wonderful man that he is, brought over his bigger jumper cables and used a Phoenix Down on Choco-Ra. (Side note: I nicknamed my car that because since it's a Nissan and therefore Japanese, I call it a daikaiju, and its horn sounds like a Chocobo's WARK! Thus, Choco-Ra.) My car's been running ever since, but needless to say, that period of time when the Choco-Ra was dead scared the crap out of me.
Money's been especially tight, too, as hours have been lean at work. It's mostly due to the fact that we did a lot of hiring. That should be getting back on track this week, though, and I'm working to pay off some of my debts (including my student loans) so I can start taking over my car insurance from my dad. I can get insurance on the Nissan Sentra for around $80 a month, if I had the $80 to spare. Right now, I don't.
The one good thing about having a little extra time on my hands due to not traveling as much and not having my own laptop is that I've been able to make some plans for the return of Shadowbird Studios whenever I get a new compie. Yes, I have not given up on Shadowbird Studios; in fact, I am determined to come back better than ever with new episodes and new shows. Among such prospective projects will be a cooking show called Noms TV, once I get a handheld camera and my love and I get better lighting in her kitchen. I've been watching a lot of Iron Chef America and Chopped lately to get ideas for recipes and tips on how to be able to create my own recipes, although I do also have planned some special episodes where I put my own twist on famous chefs' recipes (specifically my food idol, Alton Brown).
I've also FINALLY got full notes on the Shinkenger series! I'm planning on making one big SR for the series, a separate SR for the crossover with Decade, and then SR Shorties for each movie. In a way, I'll kinda be doing a Shinkenger month to make up for the fact that I've had to delay the review so many times! It'll be my first month-long special event when I get to make videos again, so I really hope that all of you will be able to support me in this. I need to get another computer first, though; hopefully it'll be a good editing rig with plenty of storage space. And since I was able to ascertain that my old laptop's hard drive is still good, I can buy an enclosure, move my stuff over, and format it to use as extra space! YAY!
Long story short (too late; apologies to JewWario for that line-steal): this month has been really crappy. In fact, I'm just now finally getting over being sick over the Christmas holiday with a brutal cold. In retrospect, it's a good thing I wasn't able to make vids, because by Christmas Eve, my voice was shot, but I digress. But if anything, I've been able to take time and do something I don't normally do: plan for the future. I normally try not to plan things because, well, whenever I make plans, things usually don't go anywhere close to how I plan them, and usually not in a good way (sole exception: my trip to San Francisco in October 2008 which was BADASS). But I have all these ideas bouncing around in my head, and when I get a new compie, I will be ready to implement them. I even have a loose schedule of vids set up. Now I just need to write all this stuff down...
I apologize for my absence, and I thank you all for your patience. If you need to get a hold of me for something, e-mail shadowbirdstudios@gmail.com or drop me a line on the Shadowbird Studios Facebook page or on twitter (shadowbird712). I still am able to check those, thanks largely to the miracle that is my DSi. Until we meet again, this is the Shadowbird, Jeremy Keil. May the past shape your present, but may it never limit your future. Peace.
Then a week later, admittedly due to me leaving my Sirius radio on, my battery died. I managed to get my car jumped, but the next day, the battery was dead again. An attempt at jumping it with my cables failed miserably. We thought the battery dead for good until my dear father, wonderful man that he is, brought over his bigger jumper cables and used a Phoenix Down on Choco-Ra. (Side note: I nicknamed my car that because since it's a Nissan and therefore Japanese, I call it a daikaiju, and its horn sounds like a Chocobo's WARK! Thus, Choco-Ra.) My car's been running ever since, but needless to say, that period of time when the Choco-Ra was dead scared the crap out of me.
Money's been especially tight, too, as hours have been lean at work. It's mostly due to the fact that we did a lot of hiring. That should be getting back on track this week, though, and I'm working to pay off some of my debts (including my student loans) so I can start taking over my car insurance from my dad. I can get insurance on the Nissan Sentra for around $80 a month, if I had the $80 to spare. Right now, I don't.
The one good thing about having a little extra time on my hands due to not traveling as much and not having my own laptop is that I've been able to make some plans for the return of Shadowbird Studios whenever I get a new compie. Yes, I have not given up on Shadowbird Studios; in fact, I am determined to come back better than ever with new episodes and new shows. Among such prospective projects will be a cooking show called Noms TV, once I get a handheld camera and my love and I get better lighting in her kitchen. I've been watching a lot of Iron Chef America and Chopped lately to get ideas for recipes and tips on how to be able to create my own recipes, although I do also have planned some special episodes where I put my own twist on famous chefs' recipes (specifically my food idol, Alton Brown).
I've also FINALLY got full notes on the Shinkenger series! I'm planning on making one big SR for the series, a separate SR for the crossover with Decade, and then SR Shorties for each movie. In a way, I'll kinda be doing a Shinkenger month to make up for the fact that I've had to delay the review so many times! It'll be my first month-long special event when I get to make videos again, so I really hope that all of you will be able to support me in this. I need to get another computer first, though; hopefully it'll be a good editing rig with plenty of storage space. And since I was able to ascertain that my old laptop's hard drive is still good, I can buy an enclosure, move my stuff over, and format it to use as extra space! YAY!
Long story short (too late; apologies to JewWario for that line-steal): this month has been really crappy. In fact, I'm just now finally getting over being sick over the Christmas holiday with a brutal cold. In retrospect, it's a good thing I wasn't able to make vids, because by Christmas Eve, my voice was shot, but I digress. But if anything, I've been able to take time and do something I don't normally do: plan for the future. I normally try not to plan things because, well, whenever I make plans, things usually don't go anywhere close to how I plan them, and usually not in a good way (sole exception: my trip to San Francisco in October 2008 which was BADASS). But I have all these ideas bouncing around in my head, and when I get a new compie, I will be ready to implement them. I even have a loose schedule of vids set up. Now I just need to write all this stuff down...
I apologize for my absence, and I thank you all for your patience. If you need to get a hold of me for something, e-mail shadowbirdstudios@gmail.com or drop me a line on the Shadowbird Studios Facebook page or on twitter (shadowbird712). I still am able to check those, thanks largely to the miracle that is my DSi. Until we meet again, this is the Shadowbird, Jeremy Keil. May the past shape your present, but may it never limit your future. Peace.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Shadowbird Reminisces Episode 2: Chou Den-O and Decade
In this episode, Jeremy pauses to take a look at the crossover that essentially relaunched one series and pushed another one forward.
Note: I totally forgot to mention this, but all my footage is courtesy of TV-Nihon. Also, in early parts, some of the show footage is squashed into 4:3; I have no idea how it happened nor how to fix it.
Note: I totally forgot to mention this, but all my footage is courtesy of TV-Nihon. Also, in early parts, some of the show footage is squashed into 4:3; I have no idea how it happened nor how to fix it.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Geek Confessions Episode 4 - The Geek Bucket List
In this episode, Jeremy hopes to inspire people to live for today by listing all the geeky things he wants to do before he dies.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
SR Shorties - Kamen Rider Net Movies
Series debut! Jeremy takes a brief look at the webisodes that accompanied the release of All Riders vs. Daishocker and the Kamen Rider series.
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